Meet Rhonda, a working mother of a three-year-old and a 9-month-old in New Jersey. Each December, Rhonda painstakingly plans Christmas dinner for her family while juggling shopping, kids’ Christmas activities, and other holiday chores. Her family helps when asked, but they are largely unaware of the effort involved. By mid-December, Rhonda finds herself irritable and exhausted, wondering why the holidays feel more like a burden than a celebration.
Rhonda is not alone. In reality, a higher percentage of women (44%) compared to men (31%) report an increase in stress during the holiday season according to the American Psychiatric Association). It takes them weeks to feel less stressed after the holidays, with over a quarter of mothers reporting that it took them a month or longer to bounce back.
The holiday season, described as “the most wonderful time of the year,” can become one of the most stressful periods for women. The invisible mental load of pulling off the perfect holiday can weigh heavily. This stress often goes unnoticed, but it profoundly impacts women's mental health. Whether you will be delivering soon or are a recent new mom, it is vital that you look after yourself.
Tips to reduce holiday stress
Acknowledging the invisible mental load is the main step toward lowering holiday stress. Here are our top four tips to help you rediscover the holiday magic.
Put Yourself on the Holiday Checklist As women, we’re often so busy looking after everyone else, it’s easy to forget that we need self-care too. Amid the festive hustle and bustle, it’s vital to carve out time for yourself. Take a hot bath, catch up on that web series, or take a short stroll to recharge. Elena, a busy homemaker, sets aside 30 minutes daily for yoga during the holiday season. She credits this time with helping her stay calm and centered, even on the most hectic days.
Manage Expectations, Embrace Joy We know you want to deliver the best for everyone, but it’s important to be realistic as well. Be honest with your family—and yourself—about what you can and cannot do. Discuss holiday plans with your family to align expectations and avoid unnecessary stress. Pam, a working wife and mom of three, had a frank conversation with her extended family about scaling back holiday gatherings due to her heavy work schedule. The family agreed to a simpler celebration, easing her stress and fostering mutual understanding.
Share the Load: Teamwork Makes the Holidays Brighter Remember, it’s fine to ask for help—it’s a way to share the joy, not diminish it! Get your family members engaged in holiday preparations. Make a to-do list and assign tasks to everyone, including partners and children. Every Christmas, Mei involves her family in holiday prep. Her teenage son enjoys selecting and assembling festive lights, while her youngest one has the important job of selecting the perfect wrapping paper for gifts!
Embrace Imperfection: Good Enough Is More Than Enough Women often put the most pressure on themselves to ensure that everything is perfect. However, the pursuit of a picture-perfect holiday can be overwhelming. Focus on creating meaningful experiences rather than meeting unrealistic standards. Samina, a single mom and entrepreneur, simplified her holidays by choosing only a few traditions that her family genuinely enjoyed. Instead of hosting a large dinner, she organizes a potluck with friends, lightening her workload while retaining the festive spirit.
Whether you’re a woman navigating holiday stress or someone supporting a loved one, focus on what truly matters—creating cherished memories with the people you love. By recognizing the invisible mental load women carry, we at Curio are here with you to ensure that the holiday season brings more warmth, love, and light into your life. Remember, small wins deserve celebration and add up to big results.
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